A Journey Through Life with Multiple Sclerosis |
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Tomorrow |
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| "What is going to happen to me?" | |||
It is estimated that over 350,000 people have been diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis in the United States alone. You may live a normal life-span with MS, you may succumb to some of the symptoms.. there is just no way to predict what the course of your illness will be. Many with MS, however, live full productive lives after their diagnosis, with only minimal impairment. You never know when exacerbations will occur, how long they will last, or how bad they will be. You may have an exacerbation (sudden worsening of symptoms where the disease is considered "active") and find afterwards (remission: when the actively new symptoms cease to worsen) you have lost some function, or have some left over effects. You may get progressively slowly worse. You may be totally better between exacerbations. You may never have a severe exacerbation. Very few follow a fast downhill course. Most of us learn to live with our limitations, plan for tomorrow and enjoy the present. MS is not a death sentence. It does make you more aware of yourself, of the world in general as any chronic illness tends to lead to much inward reflection. Might you be in a wheelchair next month or next year? You might. Are you likely too? Based on the amount of MS patients who must rely on wheelchairs, no. But that again is very individual. It's far worse to be in pain or falling than be in a wheelchair or scooter. With me the first hard step was using a cane in public. How our vanity suffers! Now I don't even think about it, it's become just part of me and makes walking that much easier. I had said "I'd rather die than be in a wheelchair". What a selfish statement that was. I would force myself to walk on bad days (oh you will have good days and bad days). By the evening when it was time to take care of my family I was in too much pain, to irritable to do the things I wanted and needed to do. I found that by using a chair or scooter that when I come home I can get up and make that dinner I've been promising the kids without the fatigue and pain I would have had, had I resisted the assistance in the daytime. I don't know what tomorrow holds for me. I don't much think about it anymore. Thinking about what may be or could have been does nothing to help me through each day now. It leads to depression and anger. Tomorrow I will not be sorry that I had wasted yesterday. We learn, we grow. We teach. |
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